Haven't seen much of my two little munchkins the last few days. Mr G brought them home from his sister's last night and they were both asleep. This morning, M woke up at about 5am needing a drink. Mr G went downstairs to oblige while I cuddled up to my little boy. He likes to play this game where he points to your nose, eyes, mouth, hair etc. He was just gazing at me and chuckling away behind his blue dummy as I played along. Then, after gulping down his ovaltine chocolate, he did his "Mummy" / "M" game. He says "Mummy" in a certain tone, I say his name back in the same tone and he leads. He loves it. Then, he rubs his chubby little cheeks against my face and kicks me in the belly. Yow! He's a little bundle of mischievous fun and makes me laugh so much. He'll go a long way with that kind of charm!
Little J appears, tousled and sleepy at about 6am and immediately puts her head on my belly, then lifts my PJ top to examine the dressings. "Your tummy is sore so we need to look after you, Mummy. I'll be a superstar. Mummy, I missed you," she says, planting a kiss on my lips. I wanted to grab hold of her and pull her into bed. She's 3 and weighs 3.5 stones - the height of your typical 5 year old in this town. I can hardly lift the kettle let alone her. She climbs into the middle of the bed and cuddles right up. Bless her. She's such an astute little girl and has seen me in some right old states - physically and emotionally. For ages after Mum dies, whenever I was sad, she'd cuddle me and ask if I was missing "Grandma with the angels". She was 2! I'm so proud of the way she will so naturally go to anyone in apparent distress and attempt to comfort them - adult or child. I see this look on her face - she's trying to make sense of things and is hampered by her 3 year old parameters. Yet she's so loving and so accepting of things. I am so lucky.
This weekend might be hard going for me physically - the sheer effort of standing up and bending down knackers me! My blood pressure is very low which doesn't help and the pain killers make that moreso. But I am so lookng forward to having some time with them and getting some degree of normality back. This operation has been hanging over us for ages. Now it's done and we can start moving on with our lives. I hadn't realised how poorly it was making me feel but now it's out, I already feel better.
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Your blog has really struck a chord. I don't know how to send the message I wanted to, the comments box isn't really the place for it....anyway, will say, I love the sincerity that shines through your writing, here's hoping it's going some way to keeping that black dog, if not away, then at least on a lead!
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